Traveling parents are ‘upset’ when their child doesn’t skip class to look after 7 siblings, Reddit poster says | Tech US News

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A Reddit poster received a lot of support online after refusing to skip college classes to see seven siblings when the poster’s parents wanted to travel out of town to escape.

“I’m 21 and the oldest of 8 kids and the youngest is 11,” Reddit poster “scoopertrooper219” posted on the “Am I the A*****e” subreddit on November 4th.

“Both parents are trauma surgeons and have always worked odd hours, so I raised my siblings until I moved away to college,” the poster continued.

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The poster explained that he or she (gender not shared) is a senior in college and has moved off campus to a three-bedroom house that is close to the family home.

“My brothers come over every weekend and my parents pay me to babysit them,” the Reddit user wrote. “That’s usually fine since I’m a homebody and I love being around my siblings.”

The poster also noted that they are “very serious about school” and that this weekend, the “third of five weekend labs of the semester” is the priority.

"My parents are trauma surgeons and have always worked odd hours, so I essentially raised my siblings until I moved away to college." a frustrated Reddit poster shared with others on the social media platform.

“My parents are trauma surgeons and always worked odd hours so I raised my siblings until I moved away to college,” one frustrated Reddit poster shared with others on the social media platform.
(iStock)

“Our labs are worth 30% of the final grade,” says the poster. “I told my parents I couldn’t have them [the siblings] over this weekend, but they seem to have completely ignored it.”

The poster went on to say that during dinner on a recent Sunday, the parents said they were planning “a non-refundable weekend trip” and when the poster told them he couldn’t see the younger children, the parents “got upset.”

“I don’t feel like my parents are valuing my education the way I do and that’s upsetting.”

“We went back and forth for a while and my mom said I was being selfish and asked me to lose my lab since it was ‘only 6% of my grade,'” the poster continues.

“I told him I didn’t have eight children and they are not my responsibility.”

The poster said that the mother “started to cry and my father scolded me for making her cry and asked me to leave.”

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The poster continued: “Neither of us will respond to my texts or calls despite me apologizing, and I feel bad, but I just don’t feel like they’re seeing my side of things.”

Reddit poster didn't want to miss a college lab class to babysit seven younger siblings so parents could have a "escape," according to the post on Reddit.

The Reddit poster didn’t want to miss a college lab class to take care of seven younger siblings so the parents could have a “getaway,” according to the Reddit post.
(Elina Shirazi)

The poster added: “I tried to tell them, but they don’t even talk to me, and neither do my younger siblings (14, 12, 11) and it makes me so sad.”

The poster later added: “I feel like I might be wrong here because that [the college lab] it’s only 6% of my grade, but I also don’t feel like my parents are valuing my education like I am, and that’s annoying.”

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Fox News Digital has reached out to scoopertrooper219 for comment.

A psychologist has said that current research indicates that a “family of origin” should transition to a “family of choice” later in life.

“If you haven’t set clear boundaries, it’s human nature to try to break the rules, and adults are just as likely to push those boundaries as children.”

“This means you’re no longer obligated to be around or follow the rules of your childhood home once you get older,” said Dr. David Helfand, a psychologist at St. Johnsbury, Vermont, to Fox News Digital in emailed comments.

“Of course, this has been made more complicated by the fact that 20-year-olds are consistently living at home longer than previous generations,” Helfand said.

“This new living arrangement has created more complicated rules.”

The parents of the Reddit poster said that the parents planned "a non-refundable weekend trip" — and when the poster told them they couldn't watch the other kids, the parents "got angry" according to the post

The parents of the Reddit poster said the parents were planning “a non-refundable weekend trip” and when the poster told them they couldn’t see the other kids, the parents got “angry,” according to the post.
(iStock)

He continued: “My advice for situations like the one mentioned by skoopertrooper219 is to make sure you are setting clear boundaries.”

He added: “If your parents are paying you to have carers then it should be treated as a job with a clear job description including compensation, working hours and overtime options.”

He also said: “If you take care of your siblings for free, then you still need to set clear expectations about the rest of the arrangement.”

“It’s time to start cutting the cords. You shouldn’t be babysitting when you’re in college . . .”

Helfand called it “reasonable” for a young person to get upset with parents if clear boundaries are set.

“If you haven’t set clear boundaries,” he noted, “then it’s human nature to try to break the rules, and adults are just as likely to push those boundaries as children.”

Helfand provides helpful information and a blog about marriage and family dynamics on his practice website, Lifewisevt.com.

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Other Reddit users also weighed in on the issue.

One advised the poster: “Time to start cutting the cords. You shouldn’t be babysitting when you’re in college, but now is the time to start removing yourself from the situation.”

"If your parents are paying you to babysit, you should treat it like a job with a clear job description, including compensation, hours of operation, and overtime options." said Vermont psychologist David Helfand.

“If your parents are paying you to babysit, then it should be treated as a job with a clear job description that includes compensation, hours of operation and overtime options,” said Vermont psychologist David Helfand.
(iStock)

“Once you graduate, there’s no reason you should still be the stepfather,” this commenter continued.

“You need time and space to grow and discover yourself. Stick to your guns and cut back on babysitting.”

“It’s time for your parents to really be parents,” this person added.

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Others responded that they had similar experiences during their own childhood.

“That was me as a kid,” one Reddit user replied. “There were 6 of us, but I was the oldest girl. From the age of 10 until I was 18, until I moved out, I was a babysitter, a homework coach, a cook and a housekeeper.”

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She continued, “None of my siblings did housework. My 4 siblings split up taking out the trash. My sister dried the dishes after dinner.”

She added: “If any of us got into trouble, I was blamed,” she said.

“I never had a childhood. Neither did my mother, but she should have done better: she knew what theft was. I didn’t pass this on to my children.”

Share your own thoughts on this situation in the comments section below.

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